he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
