i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
