please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
