your room smells of hookers.
And success
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
