Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize