The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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