Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
