Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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