Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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