You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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