I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
zippers are such a cool invention
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
