Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize