I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
