Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize