hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
