Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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