Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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