Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
