Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
