You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I did not marry a roomba.
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