We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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