so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
