Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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