So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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