Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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