gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
