She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
