I am in a vortex of obligation.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
