Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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