names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize