I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
