...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
