I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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