New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
