mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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