Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
