The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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