So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
What a dumb baby whore.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
