I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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