You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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