To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
