They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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