Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize