I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
