I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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