I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
