At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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