I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
