I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
