Acid is not a monday night drug
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize