I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
