my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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