i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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