When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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