all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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