I would go down on you faster than GM stock
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
