I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
