It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
