escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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