are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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