so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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