Acid is not a monday night drug
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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