got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
