im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
