Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
