I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
