and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
