I'm drive I can fine osifer
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
