And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
