obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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