Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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