her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
