What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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