How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
