also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
