that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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